3602

That's how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Well, that's how many it took ME. I spent a few hours one day with a Tootsie Pop, making certain to use a uniform lick pattern and only attacking one specific zone on its circumference. I would lick and then tick off on a pad of paper. When I finally reached the center, I had ticked my 3,602nd tick. I sent this information to the good people of the Tootsie company and received a form letter back essentially telling me that I had wasted at least 3,602 seconds of my life in one fell swoop.



Incidentally, it takes roughly 2,400 uniform licks on a Tootsie Pop to cause your tongue to bleed.

2 Scoops of Ammonium Nitrate

Don't ask me to explain. I really don't know that I can. I can tell you that no drugs or alcohol were involved in its creation. It came about from my roommate and I having a contest as to who could draw the best Ninja Turtle. I just kinda kept going with it. I don't know why there's a hair dryer. The plane crashing into the building speaks for itself, though I cannot recall the significance of the 1:10 over it. The dog was my roommate's. A doughnut. A cellphone. An empty syringe. Honestly, I don't know. The title of the piece is the same as this entry, though. I do recall drawing the stink lines, however, and was steadfast at the time that the fly was required to really bring out the odor.